Where to Start...

Well, I started this blog 1) because it was (indirectly) my therapist's idea, and 2) because, simply put, I need a place to park my ideas and musings in a way that feels slightly more accountable than journal-writing and the occasional late-night note typed half-awake on my phone. I want to start fleshing out my thoughts into more than just rants and malformed ideas, but in a way that avoids the preciousness and grandiosity I'm prone to at the beginning of new passion projects. My therapist explained my penchant for 'grandiose project impulsivity' something like, 'You're like a kid running downhill so fast that you're more or less just tripping really fast.'

To be honest, this blog is one of the first times I've decided to start something that didn't feel like a passion project. I'm not designing logos or obsessively brainstorming catchy taglines, nor have I torn apart/redecorated my downstairs studio office for the bazillionth time.

I've had to take stock of my knowledge and 'real-world abilities' lately, with a mere two years left before I have two kids in school full-time, and the truth is that I've been coming up short in just about everything I've ever tried to do. In other words, after a thirty-year lifetime of being a 'skimmer,' I'm not really great--or even good--at hardly anything. Yes, I am damn good when I first try my hand at most things in the creative department. It's what I'm good at, and I blow most beginners out of the water. But, the catch is that I never make it past the 'talented novice' stage of nearly everything I've ever attempted.

Now, don't get me wrong: There are many people out there that are also 'skimmers'--life as a process of expansion and exploration, versus life as a process of refinement and mastery--and live perfectly happy and productive lives bouncing from inspiration to inspiration. For most of my life, I've convinced myself (and the people around me, most likely) that I, too, am a fulfilled and joyous skimmer.

But the truth is that I've daydreamed since I was little of having 'That One Thing'--as in, when someone asks you what you do, that's the answer you give them. Skimming has gotten me this far, but it's time now for a new approach. Hence, this blog, in all of its anti-grandeur. I hope you enjoy it.